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Archive for 2012|Yearly archive page

Laugh it up, fuzzballs,…

In Groundlings Theater on December 1, 2012 at 11:21 pm

It’s HERE. The sweet ass poster for the new Groundlings Sunday Company show “The Empire Strikes Sunday” designed by Matthew Buchholtz!

Check out brand new sketch comedy every Sunday at 7:30 at The Groundlings Theater! Directed by the inimitable JORDAN BLACK!!!

Buy tickets here

The Groundlings Sunday Company show is now officially "The Empire Strikes Sunday"!

The Groundlings Sunday Company show is now officially “The Empire Strikes Sunday”!

2,222 stories about Howard Stern

In Howard Stern on November 14, 2012 at 1:42 am

I’ve officially written 2,222 posts about the world of Howard Stern. I posted the first one on May 16, 2009–while I was avoiding Master’s Degree level job as a file clerk (social worker).

You should read all of them.

HERE

Y’UNDERSTAND??????

Sunday. FUN day.

In Groundlings Theater, Performances on November 1, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I’m totally trippin’ man. This weekend is my first show as part of the new Groundlings Sunday Company.

Five years ago I was a violently depressed social worker. I could have kept going on that track for the rest of my life, but I somehow narrowly escaped a fate worse than death and am now part of the Groundlings Sunday Company? QUUUEEEE????

I’m sure everyone who gets cast in Sunday Co. is super grateful. For me, though, in addition to the awesomeness of getting to perform with really talented people on an amazing stage, I feel like this signifies the official, total end to my life as a social worker. That part of my life really, truly is completely over now.

I mean, except for the $60,000 in grad school loans I still have to pay back.

Check out my Groundlings Sunday Company bio and see the awesome new cast here

Buy tickets to “Yard Sale This Sunday” at The Groundlings here

Rock out to songs about Sunday below:

Liz Brown in “Mom Fights”

In Videos on October 30, 2012 at 2:39 am

“Mom Fights” featuring: Liz Brown, Kim Mulligan, Helen Harlan and Sean Cowhig of IO West’s “Pilot”.

WATCH MOM FIGHTS ON FUNNY OR DIE HERE
MOM FIGHTS! – watch more funny videos

97-year-old Pamphlet Reveals Depraved Sexual Behavior of Penguins

In LA Weekly articles on June 12, 2012 at 2:12 pm

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After nearly 100 years, London’s Natural History Museum is finally opening its doors to some classic penguin porn.

The Museum recently announced that a 97-year-old pamphlet on penguin sexual behavior that was once considered too perverse and depraved for inclusion in their archives has finally been accepted.

Read the rest on LA Weekly After Dark

World’s Oldest Petroglyph is a Caveman Vagina, Archaeologists Say

In LA Weekly articles on May 30, 2012 at 3:44 pm

You never know what you’ll find when inside a shallow French cave — and we’re not just talking about a hook-up with that bitchy foreign exchange student from Bordeaux.

Read the rest on LA Weekly After Dark

5 Terrible Reasons I Want to Have Kids

In Hello Giggles articles on May 26, 2012 at 5:40 pm

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My biological clock is ticking for all the wrong reasons.

Most women my age are burning up with full-on baby fever. When you’re in your 30s, your baby making parts are supposed to be constantly screaming out: “Cook those eggs before they go bad!”

But all’s been quiet on my uterine front. I think babies are adorable. I just don’t want one of my own. I’d be lying if I said I never have doubts, though, especially when I consider all the amazing, special stuff I’m missing out on.

Read the rest on Hello Giggles

5 Flowers That Look Like Vaginas

In LA Weekly articles on May 3, 2012 at 1:56 am

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Spring has officially sprung and the floral kingdom is spreading its tulips faster than a newly divorced cougar at Coachella. There’s a reason the birds and the bees just can’t stop making sweet, sweet love to the plant world this time of year. Flowers are just plain sexy.

Check out five flowers that look like vaginas here

Survey Names Los Angeles As Most Sex-centric City in U.S.

In Uncategorized on March 29, 2012 at 9:32 am
Venice Beach

Venice Beach isn't closed. Everyone is just at home banging.

It may be time to officially change L.A.’s nickname from City of Angels to City of Strumpets.The newly released results of a survey from Match.com’s sister site Chemistry.com reveal that eight of the 10 most sex-loving cities in the country are in California — and seven of those are local to Los Angeles.

I suspect that when they picked “Eureka!” (I have found it!) for the California state motto, they may have been talking about the G-spot.

Read the rest on LA Weekly After Dark

10 non-hoodie outfits black and Latino youngsters should wear to appear less threatening

In Rants on March 25, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Geraldo Rivera  made a statement on Friday, “urging the parents of black and Latino youngsters particularly not to let their children go out wearing hoodies. I think the hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin‘s death as much as George Zimmerman was.”

He later tweeted:

“Its not blaming the victim Its common sense-look like a gangsta&some armed schmuck will take you at your word…It’s just part of the undeniably unfair reality of young male black/brown life”.

This got me thinking. WHY can’t black and Latino men stop wearing such scary threatening clothes? Do they just not know how?  What SHOULD young black and Latino men be wearing to appear less threatening when they go out to purchase a pack of Skittles?

Hoodies are out. Anything black is out. And NO GANG COLORS! So, depending on what city you live in, that means no red, blue, green, yellow or purple.

Orange is cool. Not a gang color. Stick to orange, and no one will ever mistake you for a dangerous felon.

SHIT! NO! WAIT! NOT ORANGE!!!

Let’s face it. For young black and Latino men to appear less threatening, it’s not just about color. Any traditional modern day garb can easily be mistaken for a hoodie in the heat of a stand-your-ground moment. They’re going to have to kick it up a notch.

Here are ten helpful suggestions for attire all young men of color should now considering wearing when they’re heading out to 7-11 for a Twix. They may not be comfortable, but they’ll make it pretty clear you’re something OTHER than a gangster. What’s the alternative? Arresting trigger happy vigilantes who shoot kids like Trayvon Martin because they’re wearing a hoodie? (Sidenote: Yes. That is the alternative.)

1. Vulcan costume – Geraldo literally tweeted: “most minority moms back me because they want their sons to live long and prosper”. Dressing Vulcan 24-7 is the “logical” next step.

2. Space suit – NO one is threatened by astronauts in space suits, because we KNOW that you can only run in slow motion. Not threatening.

3. Tuxedo with tails – How often do you hear about someone wearing a tuxedo with tails getting shot? I’m just saying. Name ONE time.

4. Wayne Brady mask – Even a few super racist people like Wayne Brady. The problem with this one is, your Zimmermans of the world aren’t looking that closely, so it also helps to couple this mask with a flashing neon t-shirt that reads “DON’T SHOOT. I’M WAYNE BRADY.”

5. Stilts – You can literally “rise above” the racial injustice.

 

6. Philly Phanatic costume – Confusing, yes. Threatening, no.

7.The Magical Mr. Mistoffelees from ‘Cats’ – OK,…wait. No. This one is kind of threatening. Scratch that!

8.  Valet Uniform – A great way to prove you have a good reason to be in an upper middle class neighborhood even though you’re “ethnic”

9. Chiquita banana costume – Just a personal favorite. And, also, non-threatening.

If all above attempts, fail:

10. Suit of Armor – Sure, it’s a little bit heavy, but…fuck it. You should probably just stop leaving the house.